When Change Feels Hard: Navigating Transitions with Self-Compassion

There’s something about fall that reminds us that change is both beautiful and uncomfortable. The air shifts, the days shorten, and nature quietly lets go of what it no longer needs. And yet, even though we know change is natural, it can still feel deeply unsettling when it happens in our own lives.

Whether it’s a new job, shifting friendships, adjustments to our routine, changing seasons, or simply realizing you’re not the same person you were a year ago — transitions can stir up uncertainty, grief, and self-doubt.

We often expect ourselves to adapt quickly, to “go with the flow” or “stay positive,” but the truth is: change asks us to let go of what's familiar, and that is hard.

Why Change Feels So Uncomfortable

Change isn't uncomfortable because of a personal fault of yours. There isn't anything wrong with you. Actually, our brains are wired to seek safety and predictability. Even positive changes can trigger anxiety because they disrupt our sense of control, consistency, and predictability - which all contribute to our sense of safety.

You might notice yourself:

• Feeling more on edge or emotionally drained

• Wanting to cling to old habits or routines

• Questioning your decisions, even if they were made with care

This doesn’t mean you’re resistant to growth — it means you’re human and your brain is reacting exactly the way that it was designed to. Discomfort is often a sign that you’re expanding beyond what’s familiar.

The Role of Self-Compassion in Times of Transition

Self-compassion is often misunderstood as "being positive" with ourselves. In fact, we're aiming for neutral ground that validates where we're at and acknowledges where we'd like to be.

Put simply, self-compassion is the bridge between where you are and where you’re going. Instead of judging yourself for not “handling it better,” try offering yourself understanding.

Ask yourself:

• What do I need to feel supported right now?

• What am I grieving as I move into this new chapter?

• How can I honour both excitement and fear at the same time?

Sometimes self-compassion looks like allowing yourself to rest. Other times, it’s reaching out for connection, taking things one day at a time, or simply reminding yourself: “I don’t have to have it all figured out yet, and that doesn't feel great, but I will take it one day at a time”.

Grounding Practices for Change

If you’re navigating a transition right now, here are a few small ways to stay grounded:

• Create small anchors: Keep a few steady routines (ex: morning tea, a walk, journalling) that remind your body and mind of stability.

  
  

• Name what’s shifting: Writing down what’s changing (and what’s staying the same) can help you make sense of what you’re experiencing.

  
  

• Consider re-evaluating your routine: Take a look at your current routine and make changes according to your capacity or interests that come with this time of year.

  
  

• Remember the cycle of adjusting to change: You've already experienced countless changes in the past. Though every change has likely been different, your cycle of what it's been like adjusting to change might be very similar to what it's usually been like in the past. See if you're able to identify some of these similarities and remember that you'll eventually get through this, just like you have in the past.

  
  

If you're human, change is naturally going to feel uncomfortable. This is simply the way that our brain is wired. However, there are things that can be done to help you adjust to this change and feel empowered. You don’t have to meet every change with confidence. You can meet it with curiosity, care, and compassion.

Therapy can be a great space to help you learn more about your reactions to change to help you understand yourself better, can be a space to help you process the changes you may be going through, and it can be a space where you can learn about new ways to adjust to change.

To help get you started, you can book your free consultation with us through our booking link here: https://infinitehorizonspsychotherapy.janeapp.com

We offer therapy at various times of the week/day, at various price points depending on your situation, and either in-person from our North York office or virtually across Ontario and most Canadian provinces.

Ready to start therapy but not sure which of our therapists to go with? This is exactly why we've created our very own matching tool - this will take less than 30 seconds of your time, and match you with the appropriate therapist(s) based on your preferences and availability. You can access the tool here: https://form.typeform.com/to/X4qxr6mD

We can't wait to meet you!